Thursday, June 14, 2012

Gaga vs Gomez: Perfume Bottle Deathmatch

*Current Fragrance: Womanity by Thierry Mugler
*Currently Listening: Hot Stuff by Donna Summer

I WAS going to write a review of Etat Libre d'Orange's darkly delicious Rossy de Palma, but today's post literally came to me in a dream. A dream so bizarre that I feel the need to point out that I don't do drugs! I blame it on the salsa that I ate right before going to bed. See...old enough to know I should know better...

Yesterday - or maybe it was day before yesterday - the bottle ,as well as the "notes", for Lady Gaga's fragrance Fame was leaked. The "notes" being "Tears of Belladonna, Crushed heart of Tiger Orchidea, With a black veil of Incense, Pulverise Apricot, And the combinative essences of Saffron and Honey Drops."'s the bottle. 

Look closely, and you can see Gaga's iPhone reflected in the bottle and the packaging.
The actual juice of Fame is apparently "black like the soul of fame but invisible once airborne." Can someone more connected and/or smarter than I please tell me the release date for Fame and what retailers will be carrying it? I KNOW I'll have to get a bottle; I just know me WAY to well!

Then there's the bottle for Selena Gomez's debut scent Selena Gomez. It's available at Macy's. I'll just post the picture. It was released last month, so really that new is SOOOO one month ago!

Get ready to take a trip. Once again, I feel the need to tell you: I don't do drugs! As it was a dream, there are a few details that are a tad fuzzy, but here we go....

I've always wanted the wires holding the lips up on the Gomez bottle to be flexible so the lips can bob and weave around, a-la a Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man. This comes true in my dream as the Fame bottle swirls up to the Selena Gomez bottle, sort of like a tipsy Whirling Dervish; the Fame cap leaps off and starts head-butting the top of the cab of Gomez, sending the lips bobbing  all over the place.

The lips are crafted as itty bitty Mylar balloons. (Frankly, to me they look like they belong on a Lisa Frank folder or something.) The Fame cab turns upside down and starts popping the lips w/ it's sharp "claw tips." Is Fame a Fame Monster? Maybe.

The carnage continues as the flowing looking purple glass of the Gomez bottle turns to purple chiffon the the Fame claw cap slides down, completely ripping the bottle the shreds. Torn pieces of purple chiffon, deflated Mylar lips clinging to swaying silver sticks and a somewhat unscathed gold cap lay helpless in a pile of carnage as the Fame claw cap walking its way back to the Mother-ship bottle-egg-pod, hopes back to its place and tipsily Whirling Dervishes away.

Only thing that could have made this dream better would have been if it had taken place in Claymation.

*Currently Listening: House of the Rising Sun by The Animals
**Photo Credits 1) Lady Gaga's Twitter 2)

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