Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Surreal Swimming Sunday

We swim laps too?!? You are one CRAZY cat lady!!!!!
I've mentioned this before, but my favorite way to work out is to swim. This really should come as no surprise...I mean, I going to be a Manta Ray in my next life. No seriously, I am!

I normally try and work out Monday through Friday and rest on the weekends so I can spend more time with my husband. Sometimes though, you've gotta let life happen and make up for it later. Thursday I went out after work to help a co-worker celebrate having just taken the bar exam and well, I just think working out after drinking is a REALLY BAD IDEA! So I swam on Sunday instead.

This Sunday swimming was surreal to say the least. My thirty minutes in the pool spanned what can be best described as two very interesting unofficial "swim hours."

The first one, was most decidedly, Geriatric Hour. I mean, no one in the pool under the age of 70. They had some spunk too: complete with some pimped out swim caps! Names embroidered on one swim cap, and well as a flowers adorning another!!!!

It was AWESOME! They we all swimming laps...in every single lane. That didn't leave room for me, though I would have asked one to lane shame with me. Seriously though, you get to that age and you're still swimming...you deserve your own flippin' lane! So I waited in the hot tub for a lane to open up. Eventually one did, and I joined Geriatric Hour. *just keep swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming...*

Then enter...we'll call her Cocoa Butter Annoyance (a close cousin of Cocoa Butter Barbie, DF) Mind you, I'm at a lap pool at a gym. Not some community pool where you'll watch some rays. So you can imagine my surprise (and annoyance) when CBA show up in a hot pink string bikini. (Seriously? Buy an athletic suit. Please readers...I don't care how skinny and in shape I become, DO NOT let me get in a pool to swim wearing a string bikini. PROMISE ME!) Sigh. I stop swimming for awhile to catch my breath and I realize that CBA is looking around for the controller to the hot tub. I very politely say, "oh it's right behind you, but it's pretty small - really easy to overlook." I was thanked in the most snarky tone. Back to swimming I go.....

Then I see out of the corner of my eye, CBA swimming....1) without a swim cap so the blond locks are a flowin' and 2) doing the weird prissy girl "I won't put my face in the water" swim. What the hell!?!?!? I think to myself (this is the part where I get pretty judgey...), "GREAT. Those are probably extension in her hair and somehow one is going to dislodge, wrap themselves around my ankles and I'm going to drown in five feet of water." CBA swimming one full lap and then gets out, what the hell just happened? Wait...did I just devote to paragraphs of typing to her...?

I then look around and realize that it is no longer Geriatric Hour, but 40-Something Male With Testosterone To Burn Hour. Freaking weird energy going on in the room, it's hard to really pin point. I got left alone, but how they interacted with one another was odd...and a little too aggressive for just swimming laps. Soon my thirty minutes I wanted to swim were over, and I ended up sharing my hot tub time with a man that looked like a grey haired Jesus wearing day-glow swim trunks. AWESOME!

In other swimming news: 1) During that swim, I think I've found my breast stroke. I'll test it out again when I'm rested at the beginning of my next swim. 2) I've set a goal for myself to properly and efficiently be able to do the butterfly this time next year.


  1. So- I am not understanding Cocoa Butter Annoyance.. was she just waiting to be the object of attention from the 40-something men? Also- I tried a swim cap once and most of my hair got wet anyway- so I don't bother. I wish we had a pool on this base.

    1. I don't know what her deal was other than to annoy the piss out of me, quite honestly! Swim caps don't keep your hair from getting wet. (I actually get my entire head before putting the swim cap on.) It just helps your hair from flowing every which way and intentionally strangling yourself or others. ;-)

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