Friday, February 22, 2013

Such A Pretty Fat

I WILL punch someone the next time this is said to me or someone within earshot of me, "But you have such a pretty face..." (And those are some LOADED dots, btw!) FUCK YOU!!!

Why don't you just say this, "You know, it's a shame that you're fat - but your face saves you. At least you have that." It'd be more honest.

You know why my face saves me?!? That's ME! That where my soul radiates from. The soul... That thing on the inside where all the (hopefully) good stuff is... The stuff that matters...

Yes. I am aware that I sound bitter. I sound bitter because it's mean. I sound bitter because it's bullying. It's a compliment wrapped in sheep's clothing. It is bullshit!!!

I've been made fun of directly/indirectly for my size for a very long time. It's gotten less mean as I've gotten older, but I was still made fun of for the size of my breasts during undergrad. Funny some people the ribbing actually came from...

Men of the world here's a tip: before you publicly make fun/cracks of the size of a ladies breasts (either way on the size spectrum), take a second and think if she were to do the same thing about your junk.

"But you have such a pretty face!" Those words get stuck in my head. Is the person saying them loading them with implication, or is it me?

It really doesn't matter either way, because it hurts. It weights on my soul. I can do one of two things. I have the choice. This is my body. I can let it crush me or I can let it transport me to a place of no more.

A choice that I alone make.

I will no longer be the Big Girl. I will use common sense, will power, determination, and self love to change that.

Right now, I AM Pretty Fat.

Then I'll be Pretty Pudgy....

Then I'll be Pretty Could I Just Loose Those Last Fucking 20 Pounds...

Then I'll be Pretty Healthy..

All the while being exactly who I  am on the inside; a woman I have grown to love.


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