It's My Blog and I Can Change if I Want To

Cue the Lesley Gore. You know how it goes...so don't even try and pretend that you don't. The cool thing about having your own blog is it can be about whatever the hell you want! The great thing about life: it changes. Some people hate change, I love it. This isn't to say that I haven't responded to change in less than healthy ways in the past. This doesn't diminish the fact that "the only constant in the world is change,"...and I f-ing love it!!!!

So, my beloved readers, No Disassemble Charlie No. 5 is going to be taking a turn from perfume to my weight loss journey looking at it from a diet, fitness, emotional, and humorous perspective. Oh yes, and don't forget about the clothes....there will be new clothes! (I'm not stopping until I can fit into some of my designer favs. - well, my boobs might literally get in the way there, but we really don't know what my body will do, time will tell....)

As of yesterday, I've lost 40 lbs in the past year and 20 pounds since Thanksgiving, 20. Mind you, that with Christmas plus one wine fueled long weekend in the Berkshires with Dear Friend. Two weeks ago I joined a gym (Commonwealth Sports Club - super convenient, right off the T at the half way point between home and work) to kick things up to the next level.

40 pounds is a BFD, ya'll! Some days I look at myself in the mirror and I just don't see it. Granted, I look at myself every day...naked...metaphorical warts and all.... But then on some days I can really feel my upper abdomen getting smaller, my thighs are a little less jiggly, or...holy of holys...my boobs are lighter. (I'm going to talk about the Girls a lot, so get used to it. "They're called boobs, Ed.") My breasts and I have a rather Rose/Gypsy type of relationship. Very complicated.

Many, many thanks to Bartles and James for showing us the great app, LooseIt, for our phones! This helps me keep track of what I'm eating and how much I'm exercises. If I'm going to really do something, I like it all organized and spread out in front of me to know all the information. As a former teacher once told me, "Kathleen, you have mobiles of organization going on in there!" (Now, if it's not super important....in a pile on the bedroom floor it goes!

I always read that people "struggled with their weight." I never felt that I was struggling, because I was in complete denial. If I don't think about it, it's not real. I'm not STUPID, I knew how big I had gotten. I have eyes, and I'm a pretty critical person. I was my own Pink Elephant. Fuck that, my elephant was FABULOUS, it was hunter green velvet, but it was a pink velvet.

Here's when everything changed.... Somewhere in mid-November I started having pretty bad heartburn. Rational brain said, "Kathleen - it's heartburn." No Wire Hangers Ever brain said, "You fat slop, you don't take care of yourself and you know it! You're about to have a heat attack! " So...logically, I got thee to the my GP! Nothing was wrong with me, save the heartburn. I was given the go ahead to go...loose weight, exercise, and quite freaking out.

So the day after Thanksgiving I started using LooseIt again. I know myself well enough to where if I try to just cannon ball into the waters of change and go full bore, I'll drown. I maturely decided to put on my metaphorical water wings and wade out in the waters of change that way.

So there we are. I'm happy with the journey that I'm on right now. Most days...the other days I don't want to work out and I want to eat the ENTIRE bags of SweetTarts. These things I love, but what I love more is me and my life. That needs to last as long as it possible can; and the fun adventures from being more physically fit and the gorgeous clothes I'm able to fit in are icing of the cake of life.