Annnnd the Samples Go To......

*Current Fragrance: Ummm, I haven't officially moved from the couch yet...
*Currently Listening: Kiss Me, I'm Sh*tfaced by Dropkick Murphys (totally excited for this concert this evening, even thought I STILL don't know what I'm wearing!)

I like y'all. I really, REALLY like y'all!

Yes, stories and descriptions truly DO get you everywhere with me in my overtly verbal and descriptive existence!! I picked TWO winners: 1) Elisa for her Chanel No. 22/Hypnotic Poison and 2) Tenorsaxmaniac for his Tom Ford's Oud Wood! I think I know enough about both of your scent preferences to pick out sample to send! Elisa, can you please email me your mailing address to dscharlieno5@gmail.com? I already know where to find Tenorsaxmaniac.

Now for the random drawing.....*drum roll please*

Congrats Jennifer!!! You know about 542,322 different ways to get your across The Pond address to me! I also think I know you well enough to peg a good sample for you, and I'll try to find something strawberry scented for Zoe for Halloween!

Thanks for entering all! I think there might be Halloween (most like Rocky Horror) Themed "Scenting" Giveaway! Stay tuned!!!

*Currently Listening: Amazing Grace by Dropkick Murphys
**Photo Credits: 1) http://njjewishnews.com, 2) my own

Me Thinks C3PO Has a Lady....

*Currently Listening: Make Her Say by Kid Cudi

...and she's got mad swagga! OK, that's what I thought when I saw the bottle for Nicki Minaj's upcoming perfume release: Pink Friday.

 Granted by this time, this bottle is a little old news for the "perfume set" - however, a good chunk of my readers (I'm sure) are going, "wa, wa, wait! Nicki Minaj's coming out with a fragrance!?!?!" Yes. It's happening, so Stupid Hoes step off!! After the insane disappointment that was Lady Gaga's Fame, I'm holding out for some good here. Notice I said "holding out" for some good, not "holding my breath." Why!?!? It's just SO DAMNED PINK! Pink bottle (to me) subliminally screams RASPBERRY HOE JUICE! Just say not to the RHJ!

Ms. Minaj has tweeter that her fragrance smells "like angels playing." That's pretty subjective.... Please take a stab in the comments as to what you think Pink Friday will smell like. My mind's a flooded with mental images of a Team America World Police style sex scene between C3PO and the Pink Friday bottle.....

Also, don't forget to enter the Fashion Dhaling! & Fumes!!!!! Giveaway. Just click the link and put your fragrance idea in the comments! You have until midnight on Thursday!

 *Currently Listening: Roman's Revenge by Nicki Minaj
**Photo Credit: popcrush.com

Smells Like Bullshit: Amanda Palmer

NO!! NO AMANDA PALMER YOU CANNOT PAY YOUR MUSICIANS IN BOOZE, HUGS, GIGGLES AND GOOD VIBES!!!!! YOU SHOULD KNOW WAY BETTER AS A MUSICIAN!!!!!

Now that I have yelled my feelings....rather loudly, I can get back to actually blogging. I'm trying out a new series here on No Disassemble Charlie No. 5, "Smells Like Bullshit". My husband writes a lovely little blog where he talks about all sorts of things from cuisine, to Boston, to sports, to politics. This is much of what gets discussed in our home actually, and I would enjoy writing about some of those things more; ESPECIALLY the things that I feel need to get called on the carpet, like Amanda Palmer....

Last week I had a rather long work week. I had seen bits and pieces of this story on facebook and twitter. It wasn't until today that I had the time to sit down and read (I just had to correct that from "reed") the entire story. I wanted to throw shit. Seriously.

This is really hard for me two write without dropping a gazillion f-bombs and the words "stupid b$tch" time after time.

OK, in a nutshell: Amanda Palmer - this pseudo-feminist, cabaret-like singer just released a new album. People release albums all the time, what's the big deal? The big deal is that she raised a walloping $1.2 million on the "crowdfunding" site Kickstarter: meaning this project was funded by fans. Great, wonderful, awesome, stupendous!!! For what it's worth, I think Kickstarter is an amazing website and is and has funded several wonderful projects and programs that would not otherwise have seen the light of day.

Again, what's the problem? Now she's going on tour. She has three regular paid band members but wants 7-8 "professional-ish" musicians to full things out at every day. (For the record: I think the term "professional-ish" is just bleeping INSULTING!) The payment for these "ish" musicians? Hugs....hugs and booze. SMELLS. LIKE. BULLSHIT!

Palmer defends herself by saying how excited people are to sign up and play. I have to be a little bit of a snob here. Not only is what she's doing WRONG! (She stated that paying these extra musicians for the tour would be $35,000. Are you going to have that $$ once the tour's over Amanda? If so, PAY THE PEOPLE THAT ARE HELPING YOU MAKE MUSIC and then figure the rest out later. It's YOUR problem, not the musicians!) Back to the snob part: if "professional-ish" musicians are going to be THAT excited to play for free in your show, what kind of quality are you REALLY getting?

It's hard right now for everyone economically; particularly artists. They have bills too. I promise you. They're highly trained and are most likely paying back for an education that cost them a pretty penny in student loans. Next time you find yourself paying any type of artists for their services (I'm focused on musicians) 1) pay them a wage and 2) make sure it's a FAIR wage!

 

What irks me the most about what Amanda Palmer is doing.... Well, she should know WAY better! She's doing this to her own kind, her fellow musicians. What makes her so superior? Her way of spinning it honestly makes it sound as if she's saying that all musicians are daft with the exception of her. I find this to be deplorable and reeking with the stench of bullshit.

Even more simply put: If one can raise $1.2 million, SURELY there is a way to rustle up $35,000 more.

The Chicest Show on Earth: L'Artisan's Dzing!

*Currently Listening: Entry of the Gladiators by Julius Fucik

Dzing! is the olfactory representation a circus put on by Baz Lurhmann after he as taken an elephant's dose of tranquilizers. Or maybe I'm just thinking of Like Water for Elephants....? It's super chic, yet done with the pristine white-gloved L'Artisan hand of restraint. Also, evidently....elephants never poop at this circus.

It's honestly a little difficult for me to wrap my words around, but it's simply perfect for the fall crispness that is starting to push its way in. Dzing! is this slightly syrupy leather: think of a candy apple...but instead of an apple, it's riding boots that are dipped in the syrupy goodness, then rolled around in clean sawdust.

In all honesty, the L'Artisan website does a fantastic job of pegging this one:

A true L’Artsian Parfumeur icon. This shockingly unique fragrance, created by Olivia Giacobetti, Dzing! is a magical evocation of a circus of dreams and imagination. Everything is soft hued and slow moving, sights and sounds rolling by in the Big Top. Everything is there, the scent of saddle leather as pretty girls on horses canter by, sawdust, the rosin on the acrobats’ hands as they arc through the air, black panther fur, fire-eaters and gasoline, the vintage canvas overhead, the caramel scent of candyfloss and toffee apples. The circus as conceived by L’Artisan Parfumeur, comforting but contrasted with the occasional roar tearing through the night.

Tenacity and longevity wise, Dzing! can be a bit on the light-handed side, but actually hangs around quite a bit (by my own self dictated L'Artisan standards). Definitely "more than just a sample" worthy for the Fall, especially on the days where I want to run away and join the super chic circus that exists only in my mind.

Also, don't forget to enter the Fashion Dhaling! & Fumes!!!!! Giveaway. Just click the link and put your fragrance idea in the comments! You have until midnight on Thursday!

*Currently Listening: Mysterons by Portishead
 **Photo Credits: vintage-poster-market.com
***Quoted Text: artisanparfumeur.com

Fashion Dahling! & Fumes!!!!

*Current Fragrance: Chanel No. 22 (Getting a few entries done on one night.)
*Currently Listening: La Vie Est Belle by MC Solaar

 

It's Spring 2013 Fashion Week in NYC, and I thought we could celebrate with a game dear readers. I find this Zang Toi dress to be ABSOLUTELY STUNNING!!! What's the game, you ask? Scent the dress. What scent do you think would go perfectly with the frothy yet structured creation?

Add your suggestions in the comments and I will pick two winners: 1) the scenting that I think most befittingly captures the essence of the dress in smell and 2) one at random. The prize? A sample that I think it befitting for each of the winners. Happy scenting, y'all! You have one week. Descriptions and stories will get you EVERYWHERE with me! :-)

*Currently Listening: The Fugue by DJ T-Rock & Squishy Nice

**Photo Credits: demotix.com

She's A Lady: Chanel No. 22

Current Fragrance: Chanel No. 22
Currently Listening: Corcovado by Astrud Gilberto

 

Since I recently turned 30 for the fifth and final time, I decided it was time to buck up and become a real lady. To me, the definition of becoming a real lady was one word: CHANEL! OK, I get it...I'm shallow...whatever. I write a perfume blog. I'm pretty damned self indulgent...whatever. Wait, that wasn't very ladylike.. Oops.

No. 22 was my first Chanel ANYTHING other than two bottles of nail polish that I have been gifted over the past five years. No a whole lot in the world honestly scares me anymore. Well, being smited from the beyond by my Granny shure does. Curious for the story, you'll find it here: Click Me! Click Me!!!

So Kathleen, how did you get around this? Well readers, it's simple: I made an assumption. I decided to assume that my Granny meant Chanel No. 5;I couldn't have THAT until I was 50. While my Mom was still in town post-surgery we went to the Chanel Boutique to find me my Chanel. It was going to be her birthday gift to me. I was VERY excited!

I decided to do something I rarely do. I didn't read all of the descriptions of all the fragrances over and over online, nor did I go in with an agenda of what "type" of fragrance I wanted to walk out with. The SA asked me what I was in the mood for: Aldehydes, not a BIG white floral, ladylike, was my response. I ended up with No. 22 and I'm VERY pleased. It's not like anything else in my collection and that is EXACTLY what I wanted.

I'm not going to go on and on about exactly how it smells like. Chanel perfume was mythic to me growing up, and I'm going to allow my Lady to continue to be mythic by not dissecting it to bits.

Most of my "ladylike" perfumes have a bit of a dash of trollop to them... (You are what your spritz?) Take my dear Une Rose Vermeille, for example. It's winking and smiling and shaking he hips in spades. There none of this in No. 22, but it's not a "great beauty" - no flowing blonde locks say of Fracas. No. 22 is a brunette or very dark red head, with her hair up in a chignon. It's ladylike in her utter sophistication

To me having this Chanel and the lady like poise to carry it off actually means something to me. More than something, it really means A LOT!! It took me to the age of 34 to really feel like a woman, a REAL women. Confident, caring, relaxed, poised for whatever life hands her next, living life on her own terms, and finally realizing that the best parts of life aren't in WHAT you do and WHO are you, it's WHAT type of soul your are and HOW you handle your walk through this world. To me that's what a true lady is and what No. 22 reminds me I have attained a bit of a true grasp on.

*Currently Listening: Papa Loves Mambo by Perry Como
**Photo Credits: My own

Fall Jam(s): Jo Malone's Blackberry & Bay

*Current Fragrance: Tobacco Vanille from Tom Ford's Private Blends (trying to get a few blogs done in one night!)
*Currently Listening: In the Still of the Night by The Five Satins

Jo Malone's fragrances hold a special place in my heart. Her Orange Blossom was my first actual "niche fragrance" purchase, and my sister and I always thinks that it smells like The Farm. (The Farm being where my paternal grandparents lived - it wasn't an actual working farm, but it was very farm-esque.) Blackberry and Bay takes me back to The Farm.

I am a berry girl! Give me a berry, I will like it!! This goes for eating and fragrance as well! There were no blackberry brambles my Granny and Grandpa lived, but there was a mulberry bush. I loved that thing! I was sit under that bush reading (mostly Babysitter's Club books) and picking the bush clean of its' berries. I would litterally be caught red handed - ok maybe a bit more like merlot handed - when I would go back in the house. The mixture of the barely sweetened jewel like berries plus the smell of the grass and leaves, with a hint of earthen dust from the drive up to the house the the bush was right next for me...that's what Blackberry and Bay evokes in my mind.

There's something to be said about the lack of staying power of the JM's, but I must say...for being light and "fruity" Blackberry & Bay can be pretty tenatious. Most of the berry-laden scents that I love, tend to seam just a little silly in the Fall, and that's where I think Bb&B (NOT to be confused with Bed Bath & Beyond) really comes into play. It's a Fall berry! The bay tamps down on the sweetness and gives it a cozy feeling without taking it into "warm" territory. The kind of thing that makes you want to pull on a cozy sweater and take a walk in the crisp Fall air.

*Currently Listening: Be My Baby by The Ronettes
**Photo Credit: jomalone.com