Current Fragrance: Champaca Absolute from Tom Ford Currently Listening: Paramedic! by SOB X RBE Friday is my off day where I normally go out do things I want to do, but sadly there's a nor'easter and I have sequestered myself inside away from the wind and the rain. What a better day to dial into some escapism and talk about the heady and summery Champaca Absolute from Tom Ford. I really didn't know a lot from Tom Ford, all I had personally tried was Neroli Portofino, Tobacco Vanille, Tuscan Leather and Cafe Rose. Of those I really like Tuscan Leather and Tobacco Vanille. I decided upon getting into perfume again it was time to try some different Tom Ford's. Upon talking with the salesperson, she hooked my up with samples of both Champaca Absolute and Noir De Noir. (More about that one in an upcoming blog post.) I really like Champaca Absolute! On first sniff I immediately thought it would have been something I would have liked to have worn to our wedding. (Which was a very perfumed affair. All my bridesmaids got a different Trish McEvoy scent to match their personalities as bridesmaids gifts.)
To me Champaca Absolute is very heady and lush. It contains notes of tokaji wine, cognac, bergamot, magnolia champaca, orchid, violet, jasmine, vanilla, amber, sandalwood and marron glacé. To me the magnolia is the floral star...making it to me, not ok if you wear it above (I'll be generous) I-70, of if you are of Southern heritage. ;-) The amber,sandalwood and vanilla ground it, keeping the fragrance from being too fleeting.
All geographical kidding aside, this is exactly what I want to wear on a day today where the air is a little bit thicker, the magnolia trees bloom and there's sweet tea in the fridge. (Who am I kidding? There's two pitchers of sweet tea in my fridge as we speak.)
*Currently Listening: Black Panther by Kendrick Lamar
*Currently Wearing: Love from By Kilian
*Currently Listening: Can't Buy Me Love by The Beatles
I openly admit that I totally am a By Kilian fan girl. I have owned several of the travel sized spray (budget y'all), I love the whole aesthetic of the brand, they use my favorite perfumer Calice Becker quite a lot. I met Kilian Hennesy and found him to be charming and completely swoon worthy, their social media content in some of the best that I've seen and I'm budgeting in time to go to a Kilian boutique during my upcoming trip to NYC to get to full Kilian experience and I'm sure give them some of my hard earned dollars.
I first become acquainted with the Kilian brand on a trip through my local SAKS enjoying looking at things I couldn't afford. L'oeurve Noire was new and I took multiple trips back collecting samples for all nine fragrances. This is when I fell in love with my dearly beloved Liaisons Dangereuses. (Upon smelling it on me one New Years day, my Mother told me I smelled just like my Great Grandmother, whom I am supposed to be a carbon copy of. Naturally that fragrance and I were bonded for all time then and there.)
I also find it important to point out that Kilian now has lingerie where the lace is scented with love. He featured photos on his Instagram with his wife modeling them. Something that I found totally sweet.
After stepping away from serious sniffing for a bout 5 years. (School, school and more school. I'm still in school but decided I needed a hobby to keep me sane. So perfume it was.)
I've started to amass samples of L'oeurve Noire again, and Love came up second. I really didn't remember it that much from before, but this time I was blown away. I tested it first on Super Bowl Sunday and liked it SO MUCH that I proclaimed if the Patriots won, I would buy a full bottle. Much to New England's disappointment and my wallet's delight, we all know how what went.
To me Love strikes a balance of sweet and sexy. In my opinions, taking intellectual prowess out of the equation, not a bad way to be. Maybe it's the Southern Belle in me. (Now after simply typing that I want to watch "Steel Magnolias".)
I think that Love smells like orange blossom and honeysuckle that have been rolled in sugar, but there is this fleshy compontant that's like this sexy little wink to me. Here is what Kilian's website had to say about Love, "Love's first innocence makes itself known with juicy honeysuckle and plush rose softly caressed by the sweetness of luscious marshmallow sugar accord, satisfying the craving pang of new love. A warm amber base lends a pulsing touch of sensuality, hinting at the possibility of soon knowing a new soul, inside and out."
O.K., so I wasn't that terribly far off.
I think the fragrance delicately balances the floral and the sweet. This is one of those fragrances that I feel very familiar with. It's almost if I knew the smell without actually smelling it. Those are few and far between.
*Photo credit: luckyscent.com
*Currently Listening: Blackbird by The Beatles
Currently Listening: "La Traviata" Act 3: Prelude by Giuseppe Verdi Currently Wearing: Lust by Lush (RIP old black bottled that I spritzed the last of this morning.) Welcome back y'all! I'm honestly blaming my absence last week on the Olympics. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. This discovery set was a gift to me some Christmases ago from my husband. For whatever reason I spritzed a little here and there but never full bore tested the entire set. Again, life. Amouage is not necessarily what I would be drawn toward, but many I know of in my fragrance community absolutely love it, so I figured it was worth my delving into. Here's what Fragantica.com has to say on Amouage's background: "His Highness Sayyid bin Hamoud al bu Said had a dream to restore the great Arabian art of purfumery to the region. Amouage is a luxury perfume house established in Oman in 1983 by the Sultan of Oman. Amouage uses traditional for the middle east perfume ingredient such as agarwood, incense, musk, rose, and spices. . . . Almost all of the perfumes are in traditional Amouage bottles: bottles with the woman's scents recall the shape of the Palace Ruwi Mosque (Oman); bottles with men's scents have a shape of Khanjar, the traditional dagger of Oman." But Kathleen, musk? I thought you tried to be cruelty free. I have asked many more knoweldgable about perfumes than me, and they said in modern perfumery is mainly all synthetic music. Using actual musk is simply not cost prohibitive. With the exception of some Middle Eastern attars, which can get next level expensive. I try to live cruelty frees, I am not perfect, but I do try.
For me in this set, there were some hits and some misses. Let's delve deeper shall we? Gold - Upon first spritz I thought "grown up fancy lady with some powder." I could defiantly pick out the base of woods (Sandalwood and cedar wood.) The lily of the valley was very predominant. The dry down could best be characterized as woodsy and soapy. I could see myself wearing this in maybe 20 years, but it just seamed too mature for me. Luckyscent describes Gold as,"Gold Woman is a marriage of French tradition and Omani luxury that no 1903's movie, no matter how glamorous, could top." I couldn't get the emotionality out of it. I couldn't get any real feelings associated with it. I like it technically and objectively. Reflection - A little fruity, nothing special. When we get into this price point territory, but better knock me over with how special it is. This was my least favorite as I thought is was the least special. There was something very mass marketed about it. Almost TOO delicate for my liking. Magnolia is supposed to be the main star of this perfume. This makes sense. I love a fresh off the tree magnolia blossom any day, but that does not translate in perfumery for me. The main thing I said about it was, "it's pretty". Jubilation - I quite like the interplay of lemon and tarragon, very grounding. This literally has everything and the kitchen sink in it. My nose is not refined enough to pick everything out. Maybe it will one day, because I'm going to teach myself how to become a perfumer as a run my roadside boiled peanut stand in North Carolina during my retirement. I found the dry down to be very complex and pleasing. In my notes I wrote, "this isn't what I look for in a fragrance." Again, I like it objectively. It hard for my to wax emotively when I don't have an emotional connection to the perfume. Luckyscent calls it, "discretely sensuous and truly compelling." We have different definitions of truly compelling. Epic - This one I really life! As evidenced by the empty spritzer vial. My nose picks up on cinnamon, tea, rose and geranium. All notes I love. Given Amouage's heritage, this is what I thought more of the fragrances would lean towards. (Although it seam that they have something for every taste. Epic was inspired by Puccini's "Turnadot". There is not an opera composer I love more than Puccini. It's FATE that I loved this one. Interesting enough, this is one of the few fragrances that my husband has turned his nose up to in quite some time. Clearly his taste for drama and mine are not on the same level. This surprises NO ONE who knows us. Here's Luckyscent's take, "The sensuous, honeyed and dark blend of rose, tea and geranium in the heart of Epic evokes Turandot herself, the femme fatale beauty who lured love-stuck princes to their death." See, dramatic. Honour - This perfume is inspired by "Madam Butterfly". I feel that the attempt is only half baked. I get the beauty from the jasmine, gardenia and tuberose. (I LOVE tuberose!) The drama is missing for me. The fragrance is quite pretty, but a little too "nice" for what it is trying to evoke. Master perfumer that I am, I would have kicked out the leather and added in oud to give it more depth and darkness. Luckyscent explains, "How could it not be emotional when it's based on the story of a heroine who kills herself when the American soldier she's pined for returns to her homeland to take their child?) 'Death with honour,' proclaims the heroine before dying, 'when one can no longer live in honour.'" Again, it's pretty, but it missed the mark for me with drama. Memoir - Again, this smells a little "mature" for what I normally go for, but I really fell for it. There are certain scent combinations that I know I just like. Cardamom, rose and leather - plus a whole host of other notes - I know I like. I had fun with this on trying to pick everything out and sometimes failing miserably. Luckyscent describes memoir as a "scent of shadows". It think that is very appropriates. Certain notes lay cloaked and veiled by others. I wrote in my notes that maybe this it my perfume for when I go see "Elektra" at the Met next month. Clearly, it MUST be special and have a certain amount of refineness to be put on that short list. I image that Memoir is what a fancy tea house in the East smells like. There are male versions for all the above mentioned scents. I would be curious to a side by side comparison and let my husband have the spoils. Currently listening: Overture to "Fidelio" by Ludwig van Beethoven
I love rose jam. Both the Lush version and the Harry Partch version. I normally wear the Lush Rose Jam body spray to work, as I consider if incredibly off brand to wear another brand's perfume to work. I quite like it. I have it in every other interaction it comes in: soap, shower gel, shampoo bar, massage bar, body conditioner, bath bomb and bubble bar. I love the interplay between Turkish roses, geranium, and lemon can evoke a beautiful rose jam. I love that the body spray can get a little boozy in excess. I have to be careful that I don't get too much of a good thing so I reached out to my Facebook fragrance group and got MANY suggestions for a jammy rose.
One of the suggestions that peaqued my interest was Maison Lancome Parfait de Roses. I didn't know that Lancome's perfume had gotten "fancy". All I really knew of Lancome was Tresor. Maison Lancome "has appointed some of the greatest contemporary perfumers to pay homage to Lancôme’s founder, Armand Petitjean. The result is Maison Lancôme, a new collection of fragrances that so exquisitely touch upon and carry on Petitjean’s dream, and the essence of the House itself." It was easily for my to go to Saks and get a sample to try. (I never trust a spritz in the store.) I LOVED it! It like taking a beautiful pink rose, rolling it in honey, then a little of good mixed berry jam, and dusting it with a kiss of powder.
Parfait de Roses is a little pricey for my right now. (I love it, but I'm not in love with it.) So a full bottle is out for right now. (Plus I want to try all of Maison Lancome before I decide on a favorite. I have a sample of Oud Ambroisie in my sample quest to try.)
I was lucky enough to find someone of my Facebook group that was selling splits of Parfait de Roses so I was able to buy a 10 ml spritzer. Soon I will write a face on how to love high end fragrance on a budget. It's doable.
Parfait de Roses and light, romantically cheerful, slightly gourmand, and the key word for me - nostalgic. It's like baking something sweet in the kitchen of your childhood home with a vase a fresh cut roses sitting on the counter, and somehow the entire memory got sprinkled with baby powder. Right in my wheelhouse.
Current Fragrance: Laila
Currently Listening: Running on Faith from Eric Clapton, Unplugged
I have been on a rather intense "perfume nostalgia" kick as of late. Particularly I have been drawn to the scents I wore right around the time Hood and I got engaged and married. Laila is one of those scents. Laila, I'm pretty sure, was the scent I wore when we got engaged, but let me back up a bit.
I VIVIDLY remember the day I bought my bottle of Laila. We were working in a newly opened mall outside of Raleigh, NC and my work was 63 steps from Nordstrom. (Think I shopped there a lot?) I had a good working relation ship with one particular fragrance SA (it was fragrances and shoes....still is). I came in to see if there was anything new. I was wearing my black dressed and dress-length jacket that was trimmed in turquoise. (Don't anyone ever tell me that scent and memory aren't closely, CLOSELY linked!) She showed me Laila. Said it was inspired by the wildflowers of Norway. It was extremely pretty and somewhat chilled. Naturally I left with a bottle.
Now onto our engagement. This is how I remember it. It has been over 15 years, and Hood might challenge me on some of the details, but the whole evening was such a fantastic blur. We had talked marriage over, what I'm remembering, was a super fancy early dinner at the Golden Corral. Later that evening, he suggested we go take a walk around campus. I hadn't really spent that much time ON campus, just around it, and thought a walk on campus would be nice. It started dragging me from point to point in a rather rapid pace, and was acting rather odd. It was when we ran into some of his fraternity brothers and he acted REALLY odd that it stuck me, "he's going to propose! OH MY GOD!" And propose he did, in front of the Old Well. Basically THE spot on Carolina's campus.
Over winter break we went back to Carolina's campus and stayed a stone's throw from the Old Well at the Carolin Inn. We took the trip to see the Tar Heel's beat Boston College, visit family, walk around campus, and very importantly eat at Carolina Brewery, Bojangles, and K&W Cafeteria. My time in North Carolina, although brief, was one of the happiest and most care free times in my life and I cherish getting to go back.
Laila is available only online and in Nordstrom stores, so we went back to the Nordstrom store where I purchased my bottle those 15-some years ago. One spritz and a while host of memories came flooding back. It was glorious! White flowers, wildflowers, watermelon and a bit of ice. Gier Ness did a LOVELY job with Lails! It is so innocently alluring. It is somehow simple and complex at the same time. As I'm saving for the big New York City basketball/perfume trip over Spring Break, I did not buy a bottle, but soon my pretties, soon. I did walk out with several self made sample vials to tide me over, and will say that the hand is body cream is exquisite with excellent longevity!
I think I would classify Laila as one of my all times favorites. It's just so lovely, and I have such history to it. It's not generally what I go for, as I tend to lean towards roses and gourmands. Scent is a powerful time machine and this one brings me back to a time and place that I'll always want to stay just a little while longer.
Currently Listening: Layla from Eric Clapton, Unplugged
I love a good perfume sampler. It's a great way to try out a brand you don't know much about. I impulse bought this on in the line at Sephora for just $18. Atelier Cologne can be a little pricey for me (although there are varying sizes and price points and the do offer a "Discovery Set" on their website for $35), so this is a really good way to see if it's worth it.
Atelier Cologne was started by Christophe Cervasel and Sylvie Ganter. Here's a bit of their story. I find it sweet: "We met for the first time in New York in 2006 and very quickly we fell in love. We discovered that we share the same passion for the legendary Eau de Cologne and that we were on the same on-going search for a Cologne of character, elegant and fresh at the same time with exceptional long lasting power.
Together, we decided to create the first fragrance house entirely dedicated to cologne. Our dream: to create colognes to be worn as Pure Perfumes. After many years in the making, our dream came true. We gave birth to a new olfactive family: the Colognes Absolues."
I had fun testing this one. I did one fragrance a night for 8 nights. The results are as follows...
Orange Sanguine: It was described as "Bitter and fresh blood orange from Italy with sweet sandalwood." I got a very pure scent of freshly squeezed orange juice with a herbal swizzle stick. The sad thing about citrus scents is that they burn off so quickly. Orange Sanguine was fleeting.
Clementine California: "Sunny composition built around clementine from California: fruity, green, and sweet." My nose can distinguish between many different types of citrus, but different types of oranges and clementines it cannot. To me it was a sweet citrus. Like walking though a citrus grove with a citrus and rosemary lollipop. When the citrus burns off, you are left with a bouquet of bright herbs, that I visualize being tied with raffia.
Vanille Insensée: "An unexpected vanilla from Madagascar, fresh and woody." This is the only one of the lot I have smelled before, so I knew I liked it. It's comforting like a hug. Very inviting yet sophisticated. It's like a milk punch made with good Bourbon and vanilla vodka.
Cafe Tuberosa: "An addictive espresso coffee accord blended with an elegant tuberose from India." I went MAD for this one! It's SO lovely, and unexpectedly elegant! Coffee and tuberose in equal parts. Reminds me of getting all dressed up to go to the bar at the Taj (my favorite bar here in Boston) and having the perfect cup of decaf as a night cap.
Santal Carmin: "Sweet, creamy sandalwood from New Caledonia with a bold accent of saffron." I like it objectively, but its' nothing I would choose to wear. I think the saffron makes the sandalwood smell brighter. Not the sandalwood profile I'm used to. I want to smell this on my husband. He has 2 bottles of fragrance, I'm encroaching on 100.
Oud Saphir: "Dark oud from Malaysia, smoky leather and sparkling bergamot." This one may have changed my mind on our, I found it to be GLORIOUS, I couldn't stop smelling my wrsit. Very "clean". The oud is nice and not heavy-handed. Often-times oud will make my head hurt. I think the bergamot makes it. It is "sparkling". It's such a departure from what I normally wear, but tastes change and evolve. It was a nice surprise. It's the perfect blend of woody, smoky and sparkling. I can't come up with an anaolgy for it.
Mandarine Glaciale: "An icy mandarin spiced by sweet ginger." This one way WAY too fleeting for me. Most likely my least favorite of the lot. I also wanted the ginger to be much more sharp.
Cedre Atlas: "Crisp blue cedar from Morocco enveloped by amber." This one confused me greatly. In my notes, all I have is "why does this smell like my beloved Jo Malone Orange Blossom?"
So that's it. My first real post back! I think I'm going to add bottles of Cafe Tuberosa and Oud Saphir to my ever expanding full bottle wish list. I have an Ormonde Jayne and an Amouage sampler to wade through, but I want to do a few single fragrance entries so I can live with things I little more and weave some better fragrance stories and analogies for you.
Until next time...OOO,
Kathleen
Currently Listening: Bootylicious by Destiny's Child
Currently Listening: Carolina Hurricanes v. Calgary Flames
"I need a hobby." I thought to myself both mentally and physically exhausted from the Fall semester. Yes I have my Sunday evenings in Cambridge, but I needed something to do alone that feeds my soul. All work and no play makes Kathleen a very, VERY dull girl. As I've said before and will say over and over again, "you can't pour from an empty cup." I really do need to practice what I preach.
Over the break I had more me time, and I had special events over the holidays where I would need to "scent" myself that took my back into my collection. Then the day before the husband and I left on vacation I went to both Sephora and Saks and sniffed what I had missed. I ended up with several samples, which I'm sure I'll end up blogging about at some point, and purchased the Atlier Cologne's Perfume Palette for the budget friendly price of $18! I had forgotten how much enjoyed thinking about perfume on my own time, and how happy it made me.
So I thought resurrecting the blog would be a good idea. My goal is to write one entry a week. I think I can hang with that. If there comes a week that I'm too swamped, that's ok...no ones's going to die.
It is also worth noting that I've been on the project of amassing all the perfumes that I wore when Al and I were first married. This'll take awhile, but I will blog about them as I add them to the collection.
Some of my current favorites from Andy Tauer and By Kilian
If you haven't read the ORIGINAL incarnation of NDCN5 (it was a weight loss blog for a bit), I know you must be thinking, "but Kathleen...why perfume?" Simple answer: I love perfume and it makes me really happy. I think perfume is truly a form of art. NOTHING can take me back to time and place like a scent can. Furthermore, perfume (like jewelry) doesn't care what size you are. Any while some of the perfumes I like can be pretty pricey, there are many things in my collection that I truly love that were about 12 bucks.
I remember my perfume journey very well. It started with Luv's Baby soft that I bought with saved money from my allowance, I remember getting Debbie Gibson's Electric Youth and Exclamation for Christmas when I was seven. Then when I was eight, I saved quite a bit MORE allowance money and bought Elizabeth Taylor's Passion. That's a whole lot of perfume for an eight year old girl. I didn't care. I was "fancy".
Growing up my mother wore Charlie. (More on that later.) My maternal grandmother wore Emeraude and While Shoulders and my paternal grandmother wore Chanel No. 5 and White Diamonds. See what I mean about fragrance and memory?
I am firmly a child of the 80's. In my mind, the 80's had really great everything. (Or really great everything that the brain of a 2-12 year old take in.) The blog name is an homage to both my mother's signature scent during the 80's and one of my favorite movies growing up, "Short Circuit."
So that's where we are. What you can expect is a lot of love for fragrances I truly love. I see no point in writing about things I don't like. (Unless it's discovery sets, those are never 100%.) Snarky, sass, nostalgia, the opinions of my cats, some giveaways, and maybe by reading you'll learn something about fragrances you didn't already know or find some fragrances you want to try.
I put it out there on Facebook on what to write for an upcoming blog entry, and it was requested to write on Motivation. I think it's something important to talk about, as in has implications in just about every facet of life. I wrote something earlier this week for the Challenge group I'm co-leading about goal setting, and I think that the two have a whole lot in common.
I'm a big ol' nerd, so when I want to figure out anything new, I open up a book to figure out what's going on. So let's go to the dictionary:
noun
noun: motivation; plural noun: motivations
the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way.
I read that and distill it to one simple thing, "the why." I want to loose weight, but why? I want to become a nurse, but why? I want a million dollars, but why? I want a puppy/a second cat, but why? (These are all from my own life.) None of those things are ever, EVER going to come to a fruition if you can't come up with a real and relateable. Notice I say real and relateable. I say this because "because I want to," and "just 'cause." are cop-outs. If you can't think of anything any better than "because I want to" and "just 'cause," then you haven't put in enough time and energy into thinking about your potential life changes. I'm going to venture to guess, that at this stage, they just aren't going to work out.
If motivation is the "why", then goals are the "how". Now I can, and pretty much have, written a whole post on setting goals, so I don't want to post too much about them. I will point out this: they are your road map. You will get nowhere very quickly. Make them specific and attainable and WRITE THEM DOWN. (Like with a pen or paper.)
You're motivated to start, you've got your goals and you're off to the races. Everything is going great, and then the breaks are quickly applied. SHIT! What just happened? Where'd my motivation go? Before you throw in the towel and quit realize this: anything worth attaining is not going to feel comfortable all the time, you're not always going to feel good and happy go lucky. That's just life. Life's tough. Changing yourself is even tougher. In this instance think of yourself as iron walking through the fire, it's only going to make you stronger, and that's where the real change takes place.
This is just the way it is. There's no panacea for loss of motivation and plateaus other than gritting your teeth and knowing that if you stick to your plan you WILL reach your goals, no matter how long it takes. Remember it's not magic. It's hard work. Also, there's this....I always, ALWAYS watch this any time I'm feeling suck:
There are also things that we can do to help us along there way. There are two that work for me. One is my weightloss rewards. (I like stuff. More specifically, I like pretty jewelry). Every 5 pounds I lose, I buy myself something that will work within my budget. For me this stems from ending the cycle of rewarding myself with food every time something went right in my life.
The second thing is music. It almost drives me to tears thinking about what a run would be like without my Running Playlist. Going every fifth song it contains: Eminem, Fort Minor, MIA, Kanye & Jay-Z, Foo Fighters, Beyonce, RuPaul, Van Halen, Blackcherry, Macklemore, and Miranda Lambert. Pretty diverse. This taps into all the music that gets my brain, heart, and the athlete in me going. I also, honestly, listen to this type of music most of the time on my commute so I can come across as the best version of myself when I'm around the general public. Let's face it, the not so good versions of myself are no picnic.
Big take away. Find your "why" and don't let it go. No matter what happens. That's going to get you going and keep you going. Also remember, that why is going to come from the deepest places of your soul. Don't be scared, that's where all the good stuff is kept!
Let me review the rules! Every 5 pounds lost, I reward myself with a little something, and every 10 pounds lost I reward myself with something a little bigger. (Sometimes I do have to shift this a budgets dictate. Normally I've found that these rewards come in the way of jewelry and I can wear them as a constant reminder of what I've accomplished. That, and I really like jewelry...a lot!
As you may or may not know, I am back down to 60 pounds lost. This is a significant milestone as that puts me HALF WAY to my goal weight. We have been here before, however. Last time I bought a beautiful moonstone ring from Sikara.
Many times I have something in mind as to what I'm working for. I've got my eyes on these moccasins, but its just way too hot. Maybe at 70 pounds.
I had my last weigh in on Saturday, with plans to go to the SoWa Market on Sunday. PERFECT! I'll find something there. I went with my friend Mike - I can't think of a clever nickname for him - plus, there are about eleventy billion Mike's in the world...so...Mike it is. I was looking for a particular booth that belongs to a gentleman who sells jewelry from around the world, but he wasn't there. =( We did a lap, and I stopped and checked out just about all of the booths that sells jewelry. I cam back to, and settled on these....
I got them from from MPrint Jewelry out of Portland Maine. They are cast from vintage coins from The Netherlands. Very, very cool in my opinion! I enjoyed wearing them to work yesterday, and they for sure will make it into my earring rotation.
Stay tuned for the next "carrot update" in 5 pounds.
If I was going to subtitled this blog entry, it would be "Slow Runner", but the real point is "Not as Scary as You Think."
I am, in fact, a slow runner. There I said it. To be completely honest, sometimes it bothers me, sometimes it doesn't. I'm human. I have insecurities. Where the growth in life comes is what I chose to do with those insecurities. I choose to push through them, and not let them consume me. Again, one of those life keys....consumption. Not everything in life is going to feel all sunshine and rainbows. That's just not feasible, and quite honestly it reminds me of Stepford Wives, and THAT scares the everliving shit out of me.
When I started getting back into fitness and watching what I ate, and loosing weight again, I noticed that my run times were significantly slower. It was weighing on my mind a little, but I was doing a pretty good job of not letting it weigh on me. Then I realized WHY my running was slower: the last time I was REALLY running, I was 30 pounds lighter. I'm dragging an extra 30 pounds with me as I run. Now, I've made peace with the fact with I've gained thirty pounds back from my lowest weight and am still able to run up to 5k, and am ready to start running beyond on my way to 10k. While gaining 30 lbs back is a setback, there is a big triumph that is coming out of it that I can be very proud of. Success is not linear. Big life lesson in that one.
I never wanted to be a runner. I remember running the mile in elementary school and always being one of the LAST to finish. I was HUMILIATED. I HATED it. That hatred stuck with me. I thought running had to be the most absolutely STUPID way to achieve physical fitness. ZERO cells in my body got it, ZERO. I MOCKED runners. Then one morning I woke up and decided, "I'm going to become a runner." There was no real be conversation that I had with myself, or anything big that happened that made me decide that this was a good idea. If you know me really well, you know these "mighty pronouncements" are pretty much how I roll when it comes to these sorts of things, and a majority of the time, they always turn out well.
How does one become a runner? Duh! BY RUNNING! However I needed three things first 1) permission, 2) a goal and 3) a plan. By permission, I'm talking my physicians permission. I had already been swimming at that point, but I wanted to make sure that at my weight my joints could take it. Her answer was "good for you", and yes, just train smart. OK, goal....I found a 5k on Spectacle Island that would happen in enough time to train. Now plan.....I had heard about Couch to 5k....downloaded it....checked it out....that looks reasonable. So I was all set. Time to start running....right?
Eh...not so fast. I was TERRIFIED going on that first run. TERRIFIED. I don't know what I was so concerned about. Was it that I physically unable to do it? That people would make fun of me? Probably a little bit of both. I very vividly remember telling my coworker that if I was not back in 40 minutes to come to the Public Garden and look for me. I was dead serious. But guess what? I did not die, and no one pointed and laughed at me. YES!!!! I concurred one thing that thought I would NEVER do, and I was SO PROUD of myself. It was not as scary as I thought. I was hooked.
Now I venture to guess that no matter how much weight I lose, I will never be a "fast" runner. (Whatever that means.) My time will improve with more running and weight lost...I've proven that before and look forward to that happening again. Maybe it just goes with my personality, but I can withstand just about anything for a specified period of time just as long as I know when it's going to end. To me, 10k is a MAJOR distance and I can't wait to get their again. According to my plan, it'll happen in 70 days. I doubt that I'll ever run a 1/2 of full marathon...but never say never.
As much as I love how running makes me feel, one little quirk about me is that initial mile. I BLOODY HATE IT!!!! It starts pretty much 30 seconds in, "what the f%ck are you doing? Why the hell are you doing this!?!?" It continues for an entire mile, and then it miraculously vanished. I've learned to laugh at it, because the negative chatter is so blatantly indignant...I just have to.
But once I just past of that I do some of my best thinking, enjoy spending time in nature while still being INSIDE the city, listen to the sound of my own breathing, and be proud of every single bead of sweat. Running is how I mediate. I've tried traditional meditation. I can't sit still that long. I really think running makes me a nicer person. Lord knows I work a good part of that aggression through the music I choose to listen to.
So what can this mean for you? Start running? Maybe. Only if it feel right for you. That's a gut thing. I totally believe in and trust my own gut feelings and think everyone should be more in touch with those things. I think you should, however, do something that scares you and you don't think you can do. You'll probably end up surprising yourself. Remember that success is not NOT linear. Real growth comes from dealing with your insecurities. While life is not always sunshine and rainbows, the Oracle that is Dolly Parton did impart on us that "The way [she sees] it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." That's a lot of wisdom that I've gained by putting one foot in front of the other and just keep running.
I'm back! (And wow, has it been awhile!) It honestly took me a little while to remember how to do a post in Blogger! I've been back on the weight loss train for about 3.5 weeks now, and in that 3.5 weeks I've been from running 1.5 miles to 5k and have lost right at 5 lbs. (I had a little gain this week). I have to tell you it feels great to be back at things and to be successful! I really did miss the accomplishment I felt by watching the lbs. tick away and watch myself achieve my fitness goals.
Speaking of my goals...what are they? Well, 1) I'm 65 lbs away from my goal weight (a number that is flexible) and 2) to FINALLY crush that competitive 10k. (Many thanks to Pretty Pretty Princess for agreeing to run that with me!)
Speaking of goal...you all know I do the weight loss reward thing: small things for stopping on a 5, bigger things for stopping on the 0. For this last 5 reward I got myself an Antique Kochi ring from Afghanistan at the SoWa Market. Pretty!
I should make a point of saying that getting back on track wasn't easy. I had been trying to for several months with zero success. (I did run that one time while I was in Texas for three weeks.) It took my boss having a 4 week fitness challenge that made ALL the difference for me, so thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! I think the biggest takeaways I had from that was 1) follow the 80/20 rule - eat 80% of things that are good for you and you can have 20% of those things no so good for you, and 2) read 10 pages a day of a book that could benefit you as a person. Just 10 pages. That's easy, right?
No new super exciting narriative to report. Just that I'm back at it and really proud of myself. It would be easy for me to get wrapped up in why I didn't stay on the wagon, but I think that's just silly. Forward. That's the only way to go.
I had forgotten how much better eating well and working out made me feel. There's some pretty substantial change going on in my life, and I shudder to think how I'd be navigating it if I weren't taking care of myself.
I'm back! Yay! I shouldn't have been gone for so long, but I was....aaaaaand enough with the pleasantries.
I'm in my mid 30's. There I said it. Later this year I will be in the front side of my later 30's. HOLY BLEEP!
I don't feel my age...whatever that means, I don't think I LOOK my age, whatever that means (more on that later).
I spend the majority of my time - like the rest of the world (you know what I mean) does at work. I work with a people who are mostly quite a bit younger than I. While I love their youthful exuberance, seemingly endless stores of collagen....wait, I'm starting to sound bitter, I don't mean that. I do truly like them...a lot. We're just in different places. I'm in the place where I have canyon's on my forehead. They're not
Let me explain.
I'm boycotting the mirrors at Sephora.
Let me explain more.
After I got off work today I had a perfectly beautiful and sunny Monday afternoon to myself. I took myself to get a slice..ok two...of pizza and a tasty fermented apple beverage and then to Sephora to pick up some new lip color said young friends had told me about. I haven't never met a red lipstick I don't like, and w/ the promise of being long lasting and shiny...I was IN!
While I was there, I decided to try on all the other colors this particular lip color came in. I've never liked makeup mirrors in retail stores. I feel like they make me look green and uneven. So, when I'm trying on makeup there, I take special care. I TOOK special care. Right up to the moment where I liked I color, backed up to see it in context and BOOM....
CANYONS!!!!!!
ALL OVER MY FOREHEAD!
CANYON!!!!
WHAT?
THE??
FUCK!?!?!?!?
I'm sure the Griswold's are going to be coming by my forehead any second now....
So what do I do? I do the mature thing.... look at my forehead in EVERY SINGLE MIRROR in Sephora in the most nonchalant manner possible. Then when I get home...? Stare at myself in a mirror in the bath room for a REALLY LONG TIME.
As I stare, I start to realize....they're not canyons. They're "worry lines". FUCK. I worried my way through my teens and twenties, and then I hit my 30's and am FINALLY living my life free from stifling worry, and what to I get? WORRY LINES, like some screwed up tattoo I got with magical delayed ink. Guess all sins are never absolved. Personal evolution can only take you so far. I would find all of this "ha ha ironic" IF IT WEREN'T ON MY FACE!
Sigh.
To acompany the canyons - worry lines...whatever, are boulders. The boulders are my makeup that get in the canyons and makes them look 10x worse than they already are. So what? Quit wearing makeup? Ha...no. Not going to happen. So we must build a better mouse trap.
I do the logical thing, google "makeup tips for women in their 30's". Really interwebs!?!??! Really!??! Give me some tips better than not to be fushia lipstick or bright blue eyeliner.
I'm kinda set in my ways when I comes to makeup. I've been using the same types of products for a very long time now, but just tweaking the colors.
Perhaps I should go to someone that get PAID to do this. Maybe all I need is a primer. Just to fill in the canyons, but not color them. I don't know....
Now I'm self conscious.
I pride myself that I don't act old or boring or old and boring. This is the first real signs of aging I've noticed. OK, that's a lie...it was the grey hairs, but that's so easy to cover up.
All the other people my age that I'm regularly around are men. They get better looking with age. It's not like women get uglier, but I feel that societally we devalue a little. I hate myself a little for even typing that, but it's true. At least that's what the world at large tells us.
I'm in a better version of my body than I was in my 20's. Hell probably since I was since I was 19. I want to feel fetching and sexy and youthful. I know it's all in my mind. But right now all that's on my mind are these damned canyons.
I want to age gracefully. But if I do, when why are lines on my forehead sending me into a little mental free fall.
Maybe I need a complete mental overhaul about how I view aging.
I know, I know...this is craziness. It's the 7th of the month and this
is pretty much my third post for the year. In all seriousness, I've got
some time on my hands between days off, snow days, and having a 24 hour
bug....so lucky y'all...y'all get a lot of me. Please try and keep your
cheering to a minimum.
If 2013 was all about getting
my exercise groove on, 2014 shall be about making healthy(ier) food
choices. What brought this on, you ask? I think that it was a over dose
of rich holiday foods, coupled with stress eating while preparing for my
final. (I didn't go hog wild, I still managed to loose a little bit.) I
just went into 2014 feeling sluggish, bloated, weighed down, a bit
emotionally down, and more anxiety than normally experience.
Time to cut out some of the crap. Notice I said SOME of the crap? It goes right back into my previous post.
Now not only will I be eating less, I'll be eating MORE quality. I look
at it this way: I'm not making this adjustment with the PRIMARY thought
of losing weight - I've already proven that I can lose weight the way I
was doing things - but to be healthier; and if you look at my reasons
for wanting to lose weight, not dying unnecessarily young was one of the
big two. I'm going to go ahead and draw a correlation between eating
healthier and not dying. Makes sense, right?
How do I
plan to go about doing this? First big one: continue the moderation
thing. If I try to cut out everything, I WILL BINGE AND FALL TO PIECES.
Know thyself.
I have to be mindful as not to go whole
hog and make all these healthy food chances. My husband should be
allowed to eat what he wants to eat. Just because I'm doing this doesn't
mean he has to do this. This is not how our marriage works.
Here's
my plan. It's my goal to focus on two major elements: cut back on
caffeine and healthy snacks (that can also be mini meals for work and
class days). Thus leaving dinner time for more wiggle room. GENIUS!!!!
Caffeine,
particularly cokes is my Achilles heal. I figured it was playing into
three health issues I'd been having recently and was told to cut back
on: 1) heartburn, 2) digestive issues as a result of having my gall
bladder removed and 3) anxiety. I won't cut out all caffeine, but I will
cut WAY back. Yesterday I brewed some iced green tea - I know there's
still caffeine in there, but there's a lot less than what I normally
drink...plus you can't ignore the health benefits - tomorrow I plan on taking a trip to David's Tea to get some nice fruity herbal options, and also reacquaint myself with the Polar Seltzers. That's my caffeine cut back plan.
As for healthy snacks, I was very inspired by this list.
My plan is to go down the list from top to bottom, three a week. I'll
skip anything that is too complicated to make easily and quickly, as
well as those that I know I just won't like. These snacks can also
double as small meals for me to eat at work or something quick and
portable that I can eat right before my class. I'm taking A&P
this semester, BTW.
So that's the healthy eating plan
for 2014. Have any of you made changes like this, lovely readers? If
so...how did it work out for you? Anyone with these changes on the
horizon? If so...how can we help keep one another motivated?
Two days off blissfully doing nothing but sleep, eat, watch TV and run (OK, maybe drink champagne), added to two days of snow days, equals quite the case of cabin fever....this particular brand of cabin fever has me feeling a bit preachy.
It's the beginning of the year, and I'd venture to guess that close to 90% of the public's New Year's Resolution is to lose-weight-get-healthier-exercise-more or something of the like. Listen to me and listen to me closely: THERE IS NO ONE RIGHT WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT, and if they insist upon it....THEY ARE FULL OF CRAP!!!!!
Find what the motivation for what makes you want to lose weight and then tailor your approach around that. For ME it was to not die unnecessarily young and fit into designer clothes. Those two things together have given me this meta game plan...well, part 1.....
For me, it really is that simple. Now...there's some other things that come into play like: find an exercise that you really love (swimming), how about tackling something that scares you (running), setting in public fitness events (5ks and Swim Across America), reward yourself (I'm super good at that! Here's what I've picked out for my 80lb. reward, come on pay day!), and make yourself accountable (I choose to use the LoseIt app and log all my food - yes, it does get exhausting and tedious, but it works for me.)
Also, there is no super food that's going to cure all your health problems...conversely, there is no one demon food that's going to kill you just for eating it (given you don't have some wicked allergies). So this I say...meta part 2...
Some days you just need to eat the steak, and the cake, and drink the champagne. Life's meant to be lived, not to be deprived. OK, my life. I can't say this will work for you, maybe it will...maybe it won't. Give it a try. I believe this type of control can be exercises in OTHER areas of our life...and we enjoy being a bit out there, but there are consequences that will later be paid.
Let me add one more thing in there.....
Yes, I know that I have the ability to lose 5 pounds in a week, but I also know that that's a REALLY GOOD WEEK! It won't happen every week, and the more you lose...the harder it gets. That's been my truth. I spent the entire month of December yo-yoing up and down 5 pounds and then losing an addition three, but more on that later.
Realize that your way is not the only way. I would venture to guess that if someone who was my weight and height ate the same exact things I did and did the same workouts I did over a set period of time, we'd still lose different amounts of weight. Why? Simple. We're different people. Our metabolisms, our body chemistry, our jobs, our lifestyles....all different. We are all unique snowflakes.
That in mind, when talking about weight loss, be humble...be kind. You never know who is reading, and how it may being affecting them. Kindness. Totally under-rated human trait.
Don't be a door mat though, and sell yourself short. Be proud of what you've done. Be fucking proud. It's HARD work....both physically, and (what a LOT of people don't realize) mentally as well as emotionally. Shout your successes from the rooftop. Just do so mindfully.
I hope this blog entry serves some good to you if you're on a weight loss journey, just thinking about starting one or simply observing/cheering on someone who is. More than anything, I needed to write this entry for myself. As I said before, December was HARD. Between the EXTREME stress of a final exam in FOREVER (yes, the extreme needed to be in all caps - if you know me, know me...you knew how stressed I was), working retail at Christmastime, and holiday food...swimming 5 times and running I think 3....I somehow, SOME WAY ended up with a net loss. It was my smallest net loss since November 2012, but it was a net loss nonetheless.
I'm 20 pounds from losing 100 pounds (already got a great celebratory bauble picked out) and 40 pounds from reaching my initial weight loss goal. I'm feeling a great bit of not disbelief, more like awe that I'm a mere 20 pounds away from losing 100. I want to make a list of 100 things that happened/didn't happen because I was so over weight and post them on the day I loose 100 pounds, and then have a list of 100 new opportunities that I have FROM losing the weight the next day.
Each pound isn't simply a pound, they MEAN something.
New year = new goals. (I hate resolutions.) Here are my new goals....
1) Swim two miles continually
2) Compete in a 10k
3) Compete in some sort of Triathlon (indoors counts)
4) Curb my anxiety
So, lovely readers, what weight loss adages have worked for you? What are your health/life goals for the new year? Share for me in the comments..
What a year 2013 was in my life! It was a year of great personal growth and change, yet was not without its dark times and trials. I'm not feeling very verbal today, and since a picture - they say - it worth 1,000 words...here's about 80,000! Enjoy my 2013 in pictures! You may just find yourself included.
Started the year off right with my favorite champagne
Early year trip to the Berkshires
I completed a cleanse to kick-start my weight loss, and rewarded myself with this Alex & Ani Path of Life bangle
Decided to reward myself every 5 & 10 lbs. lost, these Kendra Scott earrings are an example
Winter storm Nemo. BTW - I think naming winter storms is LAME
For awhile, my favorite morning OJ gave me positive affirmations
Al and I perfected the art of at home margaritas
Joined a gym and got to working out
Started to see a real transformation in my body and documenting it
Much smaller size leggings, MUCH bigger victory
I enjoyed a lot of oysters
A LOT of oysters!!!!
Started swimming pretty seriously
Started to see real changes in my face. (This is my FAVORITE picture of me up close from the past year.)
Enjoyed many lovely girls night with my other Other Half
The tradition of pay day sushi lunches
Started Couch 2 5k...on a treadmill
Spring finally sprung
Fit into my first non plus sized dress
The Boston Marathon Bombings hit really close to home, even closer to work
But we stayed Boston Strong...
...and breathed a collective sigh of relief when it was over
Amy had the best recital ever! THERE WERE BAG PIPES!!!!!!
Add caption
In the bombing aftermath there were Therapy Dogs AND Cats
Ventured into the world of running shorts
Al and I enjoyed some classy date nights; and some not so classy ones
I started to dress outside my comfort zone, perfect the art of selfies and refuse to clean my bedroom
Further transformation
Hair & face shape transformation
Lunchtime sunshine on the Comm Ave. mall
My other Other Half graduated from Law School and I couldn't be more proud
Finally fit into things from Betty Paige Clothing
First of many trips to Cafeteria
Amy and I ran our first 5k together....
....on Spectacle Island
All while being on a quest for the perfect red lipstick
Jumped, pulled, and tugged my way into a wet suit for the first time
It was time for new specs
Quality brew time with Amy before she moved to LA
And the transformation continued
Celebrated the 4th on the Esplanade with friends
Swimming at Walden Pond - this my FAVORITE picture of the year
Ready to go Swim Across America and raise some funds for local cancer research
It was THE hardest but THE most fufilling thing I have EVER done
Got brave and posted a picture of myself in a swimsuit on the intertet
Mom and Allison came to visit and a fun time was had by all
My favorite new to me song of the year
Best anniversary gift EVER
"Zoe! Come look!! There's a giant chickpea walking down the street!!!"
Anniversary dinner date time
5k #2: Chestnut Hill Reservoir
Took the art of relaxing baths to a new level
Swam my first continuous mile
Back to school to get my RN starting with Human Biology
Took Ezra to a staff meeting
Celebrated my birthday in style, with elegant shot taking.....
showing a little leg...
& kayaking on the Charles.
A grand time was had by all
Watched Olympic medal winning swimmer Alex Mayer swim in Boston Harbor
Best caption ever: "All you need is love...and Ben & Jerry's!....and good sex, lipstick, tequila and kitties. Oh, and a swimming pool. THAT'S all I need!
Almost the same size and when I was 19/20
Ezra continued to be adorable
I cut my hair - for me - all off and added bangs
Walked for the Humane League with Roxy and Zoe
5k #3: and Al's first, the Blacklight Run
Back home for 5k #4: Compassion Hospice's Color Run
Harley continued to be adorable as well
Learned how to run in 19 degree weather
Bobby and I looked killer on Thanksgiving
Started 5k to 10k
5k #5: Jolly Jaunt to benefit Special Olympics
Celebrated the Mr.'s birthday in style
Celebrated the end of my first semester back to school AND making an A
Cafeteria time with my LUSH Puppies
Ezra and I admiring the pretty Christmas lights
We found a Currier and Ives setting in Sutton
Christmas 2012 / Christmas 21013
Finished the year with a hotel staycation and a FANTASTIC view of the city
